Fake Naija Babes/Love your Heritage

Wetin dey worry these fake Naija babes sef? I mean the situation is getting out of hand. I am just sorry for boys wey dey find wifee because, meeen, the thing no easy o. And some of the "Naija" babes are not helping matters. Naija is in quotation marks because the babes dem sef are not Naija anymore, or at least they don't want to be. Not that it is only Naija babes o, but it is more prevalent with them.

Case in point, not too long ago a mutual friend introduced me to this "Naija babe" in NY. I got the babes number from a mutual friend. My friend was saying call her, call her. I say hmmm. I begin sense some desperation o. I come begin inquire.

"How old is the babe"?

"Does it matter"?

Aaaaahh, warning sign number one! Because the friend sef old pass me small and this im friend go dey about the same age as her. And me myself I no be tata, but okay there is no harm in trying.

"Do you have her picture?"

"Yes on facebook, add her, her name is J"

"ok, no problem"

Long story short, I added the babe, checked her out. Okay looking babe, not too bad, but the weave-on was excessive! ah- ah! Only you wan wear all the horse-hair wey dey store? E be like dem don use at least five horse tails for that one weave man. But nothing spoil. I begin check more pics. I begin notice wrinkes wey dey try break out from under the make-up men. Omo e be like this babe don old small o. (I come begin remember say the friend was very sensitive about telling me her age.) The babe just get hard face small. You know those kind face wey no too hard but no too soft. You just can't figure out what to make of it - whether she dey smile at you or frown at you, you no know, but I was open man, because sometimes Kodak dey act up.

Okay so next step. Time to halla the babe o. Omo I halla this babe, come jam the British accent. She was more British than Queen Eliza! Ah-ah, na only you live for London? Mean-a-whiler, the babe friend wey connect me with am don yarn say the babe na im girl from school. I say ok cool, this must be a well raised home babe from the mother land, because I know say her friend grow up for Naija. Nna, the babe no gree o. She just dey blaskata the British accent dey go. I say ok, maybe she go calm down soon. You know sometimes when Naija people meet each other for Diaspora dem go form at first, then dem go come chill after everybody don know how far. Well it was the fisrt call, make I give the babe time.

Omo call # 2, she still dey keep up the front o. I say ok maybe this one go take a little bit longer. So I begin dig deeper, "Do you speak Ibo"?

"Nah, I don't speak it very well", with im "British accent", hmmm okay

"How long have you been in NY"?

"about a year"

"From the accent sounds like you lived in London, how long have you been in London"

"all ma life, I was born and raised there"

"Oh yeah"? meanwhile I was thinking, "this sounds fishy" so I continued to dig.

"Have you been to Nigeria"?

"Several times when I was a kid"

I come divert the convo because I get the bombshell wey I go soon drop wey go blow this whole farce out of the water. But I no wan make she suggee, so I come dribble around like Diego Maradona. We come yarn about other things o, for like ten minutes, and then I drop am:

"so how did you know Oma"?

"We went to school together"

Now we are getting somewhere, because I know say Oma, our mutual friend no ever live for London. She schooled and grew up in Naija then move come Yankee for college (university).

"which school"?

"FGGC Owerri"

Aaaaaaah, oloshi. E be like say you don forget say you grow up for London, All your life. I come say ok maybe dem born am for Jand, come carry am go Naija for a brief while, then come bring am back. So I continue to dig:

"So where did you go to elementary school"?

"In Owerri"

"Idiot!" For my mind o, I never wan spoil show yet.

So this babe go elementary school for Naija, go secondary school for Naija, come go Jand for University like everybody else, na im e come dey front say e be British, wey don live and grow for London all im life? With im fake okirika accent. Wetin dey worry these girls, seriously? Am I supposed to be impressed say you be British? Or wetin sef? I be British citizen and I no even get that kind accent, nor do I care or have the time to fake it. I no even dey tell people say I be British. But this babe wey never reach 10 years for Jand don become British, and e don translate to "All my life".

Anuofia! Nonsense and Ingredients!

Omo, na so I wrap up the conversation quick quick dismiss the babe jooo. There is nothing I can't stand like fakeness and pretentiousness. What is really wrong with these babes? Once dey get to Murtala Muhammed Airport they are no longer Nigerian. Quick to change their name, accent, if possible some of them will even change their colour. Shameless!

People without an Identity. We are quick to lose our identity when we leave our homeland because we want to blend into a foreign culture, and seen as something other than African. Meanwhile in that culture that you are working so hard to impress you are still foreign no matter how much you try to change your accent, culture, or looks. So you don't belong to Nigeria, and you don't belong to wherever you have chosen to adopt. You are now homeless citizen of the world. It's really sad. Take a look at Asians, Hispanics, and others who are proud of their cultures. The first language their kids learn is their native language, regardless of where they are born, and then English is eventually introduced once they are comfortable with their native tongue. Sometimes both languages are learned simultaneously.Then there is the culture, which is instilled in them. They study their history, and they grow up proud of who they are as a people. They showcase their identity and exceptionalism. They celebrate their heritage. Not so with some Naija people. We always wan prove say we don travel or say we no sabi anything about Naija, language, or culture (as if that's a good thing!) All because we want to appear polished and Westernized. Some may say it's because of the negative image that is perpetrated by the Western media about Africa and Africans. That's exactly the more reason why you should be vocal about your culture and identity and endeavour to educate everyone you come across about your beautiful culture, not shy away from it. Language is the primary identity of a group or culture. Unless you are content being a cultureless, shallow individual with no heritage your language is key to the survival of your identity.

Granted everything about Africa or Naija is not that great, but so what? Who is perfect? I can name a lot of not-so-great things about Yankee. So what? And what we don't know is that the people we try to impress with our fakeness can see through the B.S. and they will even have less respect for you and your culture because you don't have any respect for it yourself. So my people WISE UP and celebrate yourselves and your own before your African culture and Africans vanishes completely. The Holy Bible says "My people perish for lack of knowledge." Charity begins at home y'all, and I'm out.

I go see una next time, which God willing will be very soon. Don't be ashamed of who you are, be yourself and be proud of it. Take care out there and represent! One.