Here, we go again. A Nigerian commits a dastardly act and all you hear on the news is Nigerian this, Nigerian that. You forget the stupid boy even has a name. For those of you living under a rock, if you haven't heard by now, there was an attempted "terrorist attack" on an NorthWest Arlines plane on the Amsterdam-Detroit route. NW Flight 253 departed Amsterdam on Christmas day and about an hour to landing in Detroit, "a Nigerian man", 23 year old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, was alleged to have set off an explosive device after spending a significant amount of time in the airplane lavatory. The general knowledge is that his intention was to blow up the plane as a means of expressing his solidarity for Al-Qaeda, 72 virgins, whatever.
The next question is when did we get to this point? When did Nigeria go from a nation of fraudsters to become a nation of terrorists? Well ask CNN: they are the experts at branding. As long as the people they are branding are not of the mainstream American culture, they have no problem with tarnishing the image of a group with repetitive non-stop bombardment of stereotypical language and images. All you heard on the news was "A Nigerian Man", "Attempted Terrorist Attack", "Extremist Ties". All the standard key words were there. These trigger-words are looped over, and over, and over until the average person watching CNN comes to associate "Nigerian" with "terrorist", with "extremist" and before you know it, it becomes conventional wisdom. I can already see the typical first conversation with an average person who doesn't know any better. "Oh you are Nigerian? Isn't that the country with the terrorists"? It's almost as if they were waiting for this to happen; Christmas day, slow news day, not much going on, and a story like this comes along. It's like heaven-sent. I heard "Nigerian-Man" so often, I thought the boy's name was "Nigerian" and his surname was "Man". Shame on you CNN.
And to make matters worse, and I am sure mainly due to CNN's reporting of the issue, another "Nigerian Man" who probably had too much Star lager beer and Isi-Ewu before embarking on his flight was harrassed after he spent a "considerable" ammount of time in the airplane bathroom the next day. And it did not help matters that the incident happened on the same airline, same flight designation, and same route, Amsterdam to Detroit. He was alleged to have been disruptive upon emerging from the bathroom. But of-course after researching the news from several sources, BBC included, you find out that the man was only being harassed for Flying While Nigerian. He came out of the restroom, was challenged by crew members after people raised alarm, and he became defensive and probably loud, understandably (I would have too), and then they label him as being disruptive, and alert the entire Detroit police and emergency department on the ground for a complete non-issue. And of course CNN was there to report, hear Larry King, " Another Northwest Flight disrupted by a Nigerian".
It turned out the Nigerian was a legitimate business man, who was just "sick" on the plane. No explosives were found on him, on the plane, but the damage had already been done. Flying while Nigerian is another hazard we have to deal with now, in addition to all the other labels we have to deal with as Nigerians. As if the fraudster label was not enough, this "stupid boy" has just elevated us in the global arena. A Nigerian on an international flight will now heighten everyone's security consciousness. If he so much as sneezes, he might just get tackled by the US marshal who will be strategically placed in the seat right next to him. Nigerians might now need escorts for toilet breaks on the plane. You better do all your business at the airport lavatory and pray you have no 'nature calls' on board or you will be arriving with the entire fire department, police force, and FBI happily waiting to receive you at the airport. What a honor! I don't even think Obama has that kind of security. But you are Nigerian, and you are special!
All of this because of a "stupid boy" who you can tell is anything but a terrorist. The first indication was his immediate singing as soon as he was in custody. CNN said the "the FBI says he is talking a lot...". Oloshi terrorist. Dem never even water board am yet. Wetin im go do then? He was talking straight from the plane it sounds like. Thanks kid, Nigeria did not have enough problems, we needed you to ginger things up. This at a time when the country is without a leader, the 'president' has been in a coma/life support for the past month in a foreign hospital while the fate of the country hangs in balance. But that is another story.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Adieu Gani
Nigeria has lost a giant - one of it's almost extinct class of noble anti-establishment aristocrats. He was respected by even those whom he most vehemently criticized. Such was the stature and uprightness of the man. His sincerity was undeniable, and it was reflected in every act of civil disobedience and national sacrifice that he engaged in. Men like these are not made in Nigeria anymore.
Rest in Peace Chief Ganiyu Fawehinmi
Rest in Peace Chief Ganiyu Fawehinmi
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
GIANT OF AFRICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT!
Breaking News from the Nigerian Daily Independent, "Ghana plans to be major electricity exporter to Nigeria, others". Enough said. Read story below. I normally wouldn't even comment, but while reading this I just remembered the numbskulls who were making a lot of brouhaha about President of the United States, Barack Obama, flying over the "Giant of Africa" to visit Ghana. "How dare he", they exclaimed. "This is an insult to the "Giant of Africa"!
Take that 'Giant of Africa'.
While you are busy being the giant, Ghana, South Africa,Egypt, Kenya, etc will be getting ready to start donating food and water to your oppressed masses. But why change now? Keep your head buried in the sand and continue robbing yourself blind. Nigeria, We hail thee.
I liken this to the parable of the talents in the book of Matthew Chapter 25 in the New Testament of The Holy Bible. Normally Ghana would be the servant that was given one talent that did nothing with his talent, and Nigeria would be the servant that was given ten talents that went out and earned ten more talents, but somehow we have managed to get it all twisted.
Trust the 'Giant of Africa'.
Instead, what we have ended up with is Nigeria as the servant that was given ten talents, but instead of putting the talents to work to multiply his blessings has chosen to sit on them, while Ghana, the servant that was given just one talent, has multiplied that talent, and is being rewarded with more talents as a result. Eventually the servant that initially was given one talent will end up with more than ten talents, while the one that was given ten talents will end up destitute. Lets keep on watching...
Ghana plans to be major electricity exporter to Nigeria, others - Nigerian Daily Independent, August 4 2009
Ghana has said at the weekend that arrangements are now in place for it to be "a major exporter" of electricity to Nigeria, which was hitherto supplying gas to it for electricity supply through the West Africa Gas Pipeline arrangement.
The former Gold Coast took Nigeria to the cleaners over epileptic power supply at the fifth Aelex Lecture in Lagos, stating that the country may remain in darkness until its authorities remove politics from its power generation effort. Ghana's Minister of Energy, Dr. Joe Oteng-Adjei, who stated this through his deputy, Kwaminai Donkor, at a lecture entitled; "How Ghana Kept the Light On," said: "Ghana wants to be a major exporter of electricity and arrangements have been made for this."
Ghana generates just 2, 062 mega watts (MW) against the peak demand of just 1, 350 MW unlike the over 10, 000 MW electricity demand in Nigeria. Nigeria, he said, has declared a force majoure in its supply of free flow gas to Ghana. "But this in not unexpected, we have, for long, planned alternative for this even before we appended our signatures on the West Africa Gas Pipeline document", he said.
He said Ghana has discovered abundant gas in its West corridor, adding it will not limit its source of power generation to gas. Fielding questions after the lecture, Oteng-Ojei said electrification in Nigeria should be taken out of partisan politics and be made a national issue. Ghana, he said, is advancing its nuclear for electricity project, stressing that although Ghana doest not have coal reserves, the country does not rely on gas alone for its electricity generation. He said: "Mr. Chairman, supply of adequate, reliable and economically priced power supply is vital for the socio-economic development of every nation. It has been observed that the GDP growth rate of a nation has direct relationship with the growth in the per capital electricity consumption. "The development of the various sectors of the economy, such as industry, agriculture, health, education, tourism, among others, depends heavily on reliable, adequate and economically priced power supply. "The vision of energy sector of Ghana is to provide adequate and reliable energy supplies to all sectors of the Ghanaian economy to support socio-economic development, poverty reduction and also for export."
According to the Ghanaian minister, "in line with our government's overall vision of reducing poverty and becoming a middle-income country in the near future, the government of Ghana has committed itself to increasing the current installed power generation capacity of about 2, 000 MW to 5, 000 MW in the medium-term (by 2015). "Let me at this juncture note from experience that whatever we are made aware of our projected power demand, we should not hesitate at all to ensure that the necessary capacity additions are made", he said.
Take that 'Giant of Africa'.
While you are busy being the giant, Ghana, South Africa,Egypt, Kenya, etc will be getting ready to start donating food and water to your oppressed masses. But why change now? Keep your head buried in the sand and continue robbing yourself blind. Nigeria, We hail thee.
I liken this to the parable of the talents in the book of Matthew Chapter 25 in the New Testament of The Holy Bible. Normally Ghana would be the servant that was given one talent that did nothing with his talent, and Nigeria would be the servant that was given ten talents that went out and earned ten more talents, but somehow we have managed to get it all twisted.
Trust the 'Giant of Africa'.
Instead, what we have ended up with is Nigeria as the servant that was given ten talents, but instead of putting the talents to work to multiply his blessings has chosen to sit on them, while Ghana, the servant that was given just one talent, has multiplied that talent, and is being rewarded with more talents as a result. Eventually the servant that initially was given one talent will end up with more than ten talents, while the one that was given ten talents will end up destitute. Lets keep on watching...
Ghana plans to be major electricity exporter to Nigeria, others - Nigerian Daily Independent, August 4 2009
Ghana has said at the weekend that arrangements are now in place for it to be "a major exporter" of electricity to Nigeria, which was hitherto supplying gas to it for electricity supply through the West Africa Gas Pipeline arrangement.
The former Gold Coast took Nigeria to the cleaners over epileptic power supply at the fifth Aelex Lecture in Lagos, stating that the country may remain in darkness until its authorities remove politics from its power generation effort. Ghana's Minister of Energy, Dr. Joe Oteng-Adjei, who stated this through his deputy, Kwaminai Donkor, at a lecture entitled; "How Ghana Kept the Light On," said: "Ghana wants to be a major exporter of electricity and arrangements have been made for this."
Ghana generates just 2, 062 mega watts (MW) against the peak demand of just 1, 350 MW unlike the over 10, 000 MW electricity demand in Nigeria. Nigeria, he said, has declared a force majoure in its supply of free flow gas to Ghana. "But this in not unexpected, we have, for long, planned alternative for this even before we appended our signatures on the West Africa Gas Pipeline document", he said.
He said Ghana has discovered abundant gas in its West corridor, adding it will not limit its source of power generation to gas. Fielding questions after the lecture, Oteng-Ojei said electrification in Nigeria should be taken out of partisan politics and be made a national issue. Ghana, he said, is advancing its nuclear for electricity project, stressing that although Ghana doest not have coal reserves, the country does not rely on gas alone for its electricity generation. He said: "Mr. Chairman, supply of adequate, reliable and economically priced power supply is vital for the socio-economic development of every nation. It has been observed that the GDP growth rate of a nation has direct relationship with the growth in the per capital electricity consumption. "The development of the various sectors of the economy, such as industry, agriculture, health, education, tourism, among others, depends heavily on reliable, adequate and economically priced power supply. "The vision of energy sector of Ghana is to provide adequate and reliable energy supplies to all sectors of the Ghanaian economy to support socio-economic development, poverty reduction and also for export."
According to the Ghanaian minister, "in line with our government's overall vision of reducing poverty and becoming a middle-income country in the near future, the government of Ghana has committed itself to increasing the current installed power generation capacity of about 2, 000 MW to 5, 000 MW in the medium-term (by 2015). "Let me at this juncture note from experience that whatever we are made aware of our projected power demand, we should not hesitate at all to ensure that the necessary capacity additions are made", he said.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Analysis Paralysis
Are you thinking what I am thinking you are thinking? No, really, are you?
Over-analysis has and is still destroying so many relationships that its not even funny anymore. Analysis has replaced communication. This has happened because everybody is on full guard now. People have been hurt so much that no one wants to show their hand too early for fear of risking getting hurt or looking stupid. The dating world has evolved into a battleground; a guerrilla warfare - snipe and retreat is the mode of combat. There are no more ladies and gentlemen. We are now all enemy-combatants with one aim - eject at the slightest sign of trouble. People are no longer interested in having dialogue and resolving issues like normal people used to do, so they shy away from controversy. The result is everybody lying to each other about their real beliefs, inner feelings, deep thoughts, and deep-seated prejudices. What we get instead is what the other party thinks we want to hear but not really what they are thinking, and the lie is nurtured, fed, and nourished until it becomes too big to maintain by which time it's too late, and you are headed for nothing but a catastrophe. People have lied themselves into marriages only to realize a couple of years after marriage that they can't keep on living this lie, and then the real you comes out and BOOM, it's over!
I am a staunch believer in being yourself no matter the circumstance. It's easier in the long run. Friends tell me " if you do that you are going to eff up your relationship o". I say "make e eff up na". Ah-ah! Why do I have to pretend? Besides I am not good at it. I'd rather have a relationship end now because of who I am than pretend to be something else and then end up in a quagmire five years and two and half kids later. Then you'll really be in a hot mess. You might even end up paying $44k a month like Nas, btw does he even have that kind of money? Na wa oh, these Yankee people dey crase oh. Wetin small pikin go carry $44K a month do, for 18years! Omo, before you begin pour that thing inside make una dey think thrice o. Damn. $44k a month! That's $528K a year for one ejaculation! Damn playa! That is one costly nut! What happened to Pamela? She never complains, doesn't talk back, doesn't have headaches, or even PMS! And to make matters worse that pikin might even end up being brainwashed by the mama to think that you don't love him/her and that's why you left. Especially if you are not in the same geographical area for whatever reason. After $500K a year for 18 years?! Kai, Wallahi! I go woz person eh. Make any pikin come tell me say "You are not my dad. My step daddy loves and cares for me more than you". Thunder fire ya step-papa nyash! On top my money again. Chai. God save you say dis no be Naija. Na cutlass I for carry design ya back. Little oloshi. If you like don't board that plane and come and visit me. Maaaan, at this rate Nas will have to continue rapping for the next 30 years just to catch up on payments. Jesu! Watch out for new Nas album coming soon to record stores near you. But any way I am digressing.
Ehen. I was saying......what was I saying sef? Ehen, I was saying be yourself o. And this over analysis thing sef. It's really a big problem now o. Instead of communicating with each other. partners would rather try to figure out why he or she said that, "what is he trying to get to", "does he think I'm an idiot", "eeeeehn?, I will show him", "im neva see anything". And the chess game begins. You mean A but you say B, hoping that he will say C that will lead you to D, and by the time you know it you are in Neverland. "I will Never date a Nigerian guy again". " I will Never date an Ibo guy again", "I will never date......"! You begin nursing wounds, waiting for the next victim to cross your path, and as soon as the poor thing walks into your hunting perimeter you pounce. He will receive all the vengeance that you did not have time to visit on your past adversary. " What do you take me for, this will not happen here o", "You don't know who you are dealing with"! "By the time I finish with you eh"! Why? What will happen by the time you finish with him?
Let the past be the past. I personally believe in starting with a new slate . Man, I just remembered when we still used to go to school with slates. Some kids even had designer slates o! Naija! Only in Naija! I had to charcoal my own slate fresh every morning so that it was black enough for legibility. Man how times have changed. Do kids today even know what a slate is? Anyways, who cares? I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt until they erase that trust. Yes, I will be burned a few times but if you don't do that then you might end up with analysis paralysis and miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Omo, it's lunch time already. Time flies when you are having fun o. Make I blow 'cause I got some peppersouping and bigstouting to do! Catch y'all later! One.
Over-analysis has and is still destroying so many relationships that its not even funny anymore. Analysis has replaced communication. This has happened because everybody is on full guard now. People have been hurt so much that no one wants to show their hand too early for fear of risking getting hurt or looking stupid. The dating world has evolved into a battleground; a guerrilla warfare - snipe and retreat is the mode of combat. There are no more ladies and gentlemen. We are now all enemy-combatants with one aim - eject at the slightest sign of trouble. People are no longer interested in having dialogue and resolving issues like normal people used to do, so they shy away from controversy. The result is everybody lying to each other about their real beliefs, inner feelings, deep thoughts, and deep-seated prejudices. What we get instead is what the other party thinks we want to hear but not really what they are thinking, and the lie is nurtured, fed, and nourished until it becomes too big to maintain by which time it's too late, and you are headed for nothing but a catastrophe. People have lied themselves into marriages only to realize a couple of years after marriage that they can't keep on living this lie, and then the real you comes out and BOOM, it's over!
I am a staunch believer in being yourself no matter the circumstance. It's easier in the long run. Friends tell me " if you do that you are going to eff up your relationship o". I say "make e eff up na". Ah-ah! Why do I have to pretend? Besides I am not good at it. I'd rather have a relationship end now because of who I am than pretend to be something else and then end up in a quagmire five years and two and half kids later. Then you'll really be in a hot mess. You might even end up paying $44k a month like Nas, btw does he even have that kind of money? Na wa oh, these Yankee people dey crase oh. Wetin small pikin go carry $44K a month do, for 18years! Omo, before you begin pour that thing inside make una dey think thrice o. Damn. $44k a month! That's $528K a year for one ejaculation! Damn playa! That is one costly nut! What happened to Pamela? She never complains, doesn't talk back, doesn't have headaches, or even PMS! And to make matters worse that pikin might even end up being brainwashed by the mama to think that you don't love him/her and that's why you left. Especially if you are not in the same geographical area for whatever reason. After $500K a year for 18 years?! Kai, Wallahi! I go woz person eh. Make any pikin come tell me say "You are not my dad. My step daddy loves and cares for me more than you". Thunder fire ya step-papa nyash! On top my money again. Chai. God save you say dis no be Naija. Na cutlass I for carry design ya back. Little oloshi. If you like don't board that plane and come and visit me. Maaaan, at this rate Nas will have to continue rapping for the next 30 years just to catch up on payments. Jesu! Watch out for new Nas album coming soon to record stores near you. But any way I am digressing.
Ehen. I was saying......what was I saying sef? Ehen, I was saying be yourself o. And this over analysis thing sef. It's really a big problem now o. Instead of communicating with each other. partners would rather try to figure out why he or she said that, "what is he trying to get to", "does he think I'm an idiot", "eeeeehn?, I will show him", "im neva see anything". And the chess game begins. You mean A but you say B, hoping that he will say C that will lead you to D, and by the time you know it you are in Neverland. "I will Never date a Nigerian guy again". " I will Never date an Ibo guy again", "I will never date......"! You begin nursing wounds, waiting for the next victim to cross your path, and as soon as the poor thing walks into your hunting perimeter you pounce. He will receive all the vengeance that you did not have time to visit on your past adversary. " What do you take me for, this will not happen here o", "You don't know who you are dealing with"! "By the time I finish with you eh"! Why? What will happen by the time you finish with him?
Let the past be the past. I personally believe in starting with a new slate . Man, I just remembered when we still used to go to school with slates. Some kids even had designer slates o! Naija! Only in Naija! I had to charcoal my own slate fresh every morning so that it was black enough for legibility. Man how times have changed. Do kids today even know what a slate is? Anyways, who cares? I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt until they erase that trust. Yes, I will be burned a few times but if you don't do that then you might end up with analysis paralysis and miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Omo, it's lunch time already. Time flies when you are having fun o. Make I blow 'cause I got some peppersouping and bigstouting to do! Catch y'all later! One.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Bigstouting, Suyaing, and Peppersouping
I am not a fan of Nigerian politics in the least bit, but I can now say that I have something or someone to look forward to whenever there is news about the Nigerian National Assembly. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Honourable Patrick Obahiagbon of the National Assembly. A former member and Speaker of the Edo house of assembly, Hon. Obahiagbon has a way with the English and Latin languages that I can for the lack of a better English word describe as 'Original'. He speaks English, Edo (I'm sure), Latin, and Obahiagbonian.
I know I might be late on this but I just have to introduce you guys to this genius of epic proportions. The man has way with the English language unlike any I've ever seen, albeit in heavily Edo-accented English. Even the great Wole Soyinka will be green with envy. Who else will say something like "Well let me just say I have been manically bewildered, in the words of Peter Pan, "Overghasted and Flabberwhelmed", when I am confronted by people as to what they stigmatize as to my gymnophysophist verbagogical gyrations...when I talk they just bomb in ceaseless sparkatum..." I admit the second part is my translation because for whatever reason - accent, static audio, speaking obahiagbonian - the audio was incoherent, but its pretty darn close. Maybe he was speaking what has been described as Obahiagbonian - his own invented language. Mr Obahiagbon was responding to a question about his over-use of his extensive vocabulary to express himself.
The thing about Hon. Obahiagbon is that we actually have to take him seriously, because if you get over the initial shock of his "verbagogical gyrations", as he would say, he is actually making a lot of sense - more sense than most of the clowns in the Nigerian House of Representatives. This man has immersed himself in the political dialectic. He has bathed in the aqua of the political crosscurrents, immersed himself in societal dialectics, and he is always ready for parliamentary work. He points out the failure of the government and places culpability where it belongs. He elucidates the complacency of his fellow parliamentarians when he chastises them, "... they should avoid regular bigstouting, suyaing, and peppersouping, these are not the real issues". Rightfully so. These are not the real issues. LOL. Most Nigerian parliamentarians see the House of Assembly as their ticket to prosperity instead of as a platform for self-sacrifice and national service.
Yes, parliamentary works goes beyond verbal exercises and gyrations, but at least somebody is taking the first step. Who knows, Hon. Obahiagbon might be at the vanguard of actually beginning a final turnaround of the foul political climate of Abuja. Americans complain about 'Washington' and the ways of 'Washington' in reference to the activities of elected American members of legislature who are more concerned about their political viability than the welfare of the constituents who elected them. But with all of the lampooning of 'Washington' and its ways, 'Washington' does not hold a flame to the self-serving and indulgent practices of 'Abuja' and it's corrupt and profligate inhabitants.
Check out Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon on Youtube under the title: 'Meet Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon, House of Assembly's Parrot'.
Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a_jdjiePqc
Watch the video before you read the transcript. The video starts at about 37 seconds in.
Full Transcript of an NTA Interview with the Honorable (It's not perfect but it's close.)
Bosede: Guess who I have on set. When you talk of political afraga flege, when you talk of sagacity, when you talk of bouahaha. Welcome to NTA live from the national assembly… honorable Patrick Obahiagon …also known as igodo migodo. You are welcome, sir.
Oba.: The pleasure is mine, Bosede
B: so, how are u today?
Oba.: Very good. In a proper order. Healthy. Always ready for parliamentary work.
B: I know you were at the Edo state house of assembly. So how has your experience in the state assembly prepared you for the challenges of the national assembly?
Oba.: Fantastic. Don’t forget I did 8 years at the Edo state house of assembly and by the grace of the grand architect of the universe, that opportunity has assisted me colossally in dotting the parliamentary “I” s and crossing the legislative “T” s and has put me in good steed for the due discharge of my parliamentary onnus probandi ……..because when you examine the relationship between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national assembly, the difference, if any, is one of a tweedledum and tweedledee, little or no difference.
The only difference of course being that, whereas in the state house of assembly you only impact on a micro terrestrial plane, at the national assembly, you are talking at a macro level. So if you ask me, there is a dialectical rapport between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national level. It is one of a microcosm in a macrocosm.
So in a nutshell, I want to say that my experience in serving as a legislator for 8 years, and my experience when I was leader of the Edo state house of assembly for 4 years, put me certainly in good steed for this assignment at the national level.
B: Is that why you have been a vibrant member of this national assembly as it were?
Oba.: Partly yes. Partly yes. It is terra ferma for me and not terra incognita. It is familiar to me and once you exceed of the nuances of parliamentary discourse and discobolus it follows therefore that it will be familiar to you too.. partly…but again, partly it is equally responsible….. for the fact that you cannot succeed as a parliamentarian if you are not cosmopolitan. You must be prepared to immerse (emesh?) yourself in societal dialectics for you to be able to contribute efficaciously in a utilitarian modus.
So, if you are a parliamentarian and you don’t go through the ritual of even reading newspapers, you don’t bathe yourself in the aqua of the political cross currents, then you are going to be dejumed?, you are going to be carnaristic? in your contributions. So yes, my experience in the state of assembly has been responsible for my vibrancy in one breathe. At another breathe, my desire to perpetually entrench myself in political, social and intellectual currents have equally contributed in its own steed.
B: So in essence, what challenge are you giving to your other colleagues?
Oba.: Sactas Simplicitas! They must avoid regular big stouting , suyaing , big stouting and peppersouping. Those are not the real issues. They must be prepared to immerse(emesh?) themselves in societal dialectics. They must put their nose to the grind stone. Chief Obafemi Awolowo the ikene philosopher said the difference between me and my other colleagues, was that when my other colleagues are cavorting in the dark alleys, I am in my library working myself 19 to the dozen.
You cannot succeed in life if you are not disciplined. You must be puritanical in your
predisposition, you must engage in an exercise of self purification and mortification, you must engage in an exercise of self abnegation, you must engage in an exercise of spiritual immolation. You must discipline the flesh. You must conquer the flesh. You must allow the spiritual aspect of you preponderate the material aspect, especially when you have been chosen to represent the people. So that at the end of the day, you can really say: vendi, vidi, vicki (veni vedi vici?)
B: what is the meaning of that?
Oba.: I came, I saw, I conquered.
B: Sir,just like I told you that you are vibrant contributor to debates on the floor of the house at times does it really bother you whether the people get to understand what you say because of those big big grammar.
Oba.: Well, let me say that I have been maniacally bewildered, in the words of Peter Pan, “overghasted and flabberwhelmed” when I am confronted by people as to what they stigmatize as my verbagogical gymnosophist gyrations. But let me use this opportunity to say that I have never set out…..I don’t deliberately set out to confuse my audience. Certain you want me to be dumb, when I talk, they just bomb in ceaseless sparkatum?. I bet you don’t give what you don’t have, what I have, I give.
B: So what is your parting word to Nigerians?
Oba.: My parting word to Nigerians is to be patient with the president of the country President, Umaru Musa Y’aradua. I appreciate that a lot of people at this time are becoming very critical in assessing the president because they believe that 8 months is enough to chart a visionary trajectory. I share those sentiments, but at the same time, let us not forget that the country was in a state of economical quagmire, political phantasmagoria and social stupor at the time the president came on board. So I appeal to Nigerians to be a little bit patient with him.
But at the same time, I want to appeal to Mr. President to see the victory in the cause as a wake up challenge, for him to leave the position of recupency into one of recusancy. 8 months, people should be able to say “this is the direction of Mr. President”. 8 months, people should be able to say “Mr. President’s stance for this”. There is a difference between amiability; there is a difference between decency and activism. The president must leave his position of political, and social and administrative lethargy and take the driver’s seat.
As Mr. President, he drives, and others follow. So whereas I appeal to Nigerians to be patient with him, I equally call on Mr. President to ascend the challenges of governance, and he cannot do that except he take the driver’s seat as the political dowager, the political emir of Sun Jordan, and the political major dobo, the buck stops at his table.
I know I might be late on this but I just have to introduce you guys to this genius of epic proportions. The man has way with the English language unlike any I've ever seen, albeit in heavily Edo-accented English. Even the great Wole Soyinka will be green with envy. Who else will say something like "Well let me just say I have been manically bewildered, in the words of Peter Pan, "Overghasted and Flabberwhelmed", when I am confronted by people as to what they stigmatize as to my gymnophysophist verbagogical gyrations...when I talk they just bomb in ceaseless sparkatum..." I admit the second part is my translation because for whatever reason - accent, static audio, speaking obahiagbonian - the audio was incoherent, but its pretty darn close. Maybe he was speaking what has been described as Obahiagbonian - his own invented language. Mr Obahiagbon was responding to a question about his over-use of his extensive vocabulary to express himself.
The thing about Hon. Obahiagbon is that we actually have to take him seriously, because if you get over the initial shock of his "verbagogical gyrations", as he would say, he is actually making a lot of sense - more sense than most of the clowns in the Nigerian House of Representatives. This man has immersed himself in the political dialectic. He has bathed in the aqua of the political crosscurrents, immersed himself in societal dialectics, and he is always ready for parliamentary work. He points out the failure of the government and places culpability where it belongs. He elucidates the complacency of his fellow parliamentarians when he chastises them, "... they should avoid regular bigstouting, suyaing, and peppersouping, these are not the real issues". Rightfully so. These are not the real issues. LOL. Most Nigerian parliamentarians see the House of Assembly as their ticket to prosperity instead of as a platform for self-sacrifice and national service.
Yes, parliamentary works goes beyond verbal exercises and gyrations, but at least somebody is taking the first step. Who knows, Hon. Obahiagbon might be at the vanguard of actually beginning a final turnaround of the foul political climate of Abuja. Americans complain about 'Washington' and the ways of 'Washington' in reference to the activities of elected American members of legislature who are more concerned about their political viability than the welfare of the constituents who elected them. But with all of the lampooning of 'Washington' and its ways, 'Washington' does not hold a flame to the self-serving and indulgent practices of 'Abuja' and it's corrupt and profligate inhabitants.
Check out Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon on Youtube under the title: 'Meet Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon, House of Assembly's Parrot'.
Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a_jdjiePqc
Watch the video before you read the transcript. The video starts at about 37 seconds in.
Full Transcript of an NTA Interview with the Honorable (It's not perfect but it's close.)
Bosede: Guess who I have on set. When you talk of political afraga flege, when you talk of sagacity, when you talk of bouahaha. Welcome to NTA live from the national assembly… honorable Patrick Obahiagon …also known as igodo migodo. You are welcome, sir.
Oba.: The pleasure is mine, Bosede
B: so, how are u today?
Oba.: Very good. In a proper order. Healthy. Always ready for parliamentary work.
B: I know you were at the Edo state house of assembly. So how has your experience in the state assembly prepared you for the challenges of the national assembly?
Oba.: Fantastic. Don’t forget I did 8 years at the Edo state house of assembly and by the grace of the grand architect of the universe, that opportunity has assisted me colossally in dotting the parliamentary “I” s and crossing the legislative “T” s and has put me in good steed for the due discharge of my parliamentary onnus probandi ……..because when you examine the relationship between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national assembly, the difference, if any, is one of a tweedledum and tweedledee, little or no difference.
The only difference of course being that, whereas in the state house of assembly you only impact on a micro terrestrial plane, at the national assembly, you are talking at a macro level. So if you ask me, there is a dialectical rapport between parliament at the state level and parliament at the national level. It is one of a microcosm in a macrocosm.
So in a nutshell, I want to say that my experience in serving as a legislator for 8 years, and my experience when I was leader of the Edo state house of assembly for 4 years, put me certainly in good steed for this assignment at the national level.
B: Is that why you have been a vibrant member of this national assembly as it were?
Oba.: Partly yes. Partly yes. It is terra ferma for me and not terra incognita. It is familiar to me and once you exceed of the nuances of parliamentary discourse and discobolus it follows therefore that it will be familiar to you too.. partly…but again, partly it is equally responsible….. for the fact that you cannot succeed as a parliamentarian if you are not cosmopolitan. You must be prepared to immerse (emesh?) yourself in societal dialectics for you to be able to contribute efficaciously in a utilitarian modus.
So, if you are a parliamentarian and you don’t go through the ritual of even reading newspapers, you don’t bathe yourself in the aqua of the political cross currents, then you are going to be dejumed?, you are going to be carnaristic? in your contributions. So yes, my experience in the state of assembly has been responsible for my vibrancy in one breathe. At another breathe, my desire to perpetually entrench myself in political, social and intellectual currents have equally contributed in its own steed.
B: So in essence, what challenge are you giving to your other colleagues?
Oba.: Sactas Simplicitas! They must avoid regular big stouting , suyaing , big stouting and peppersouping. Those are not the real issues. They must be prepared to immerse(emesh?) themselves in societal dialectics. They must put their nose to the grind stone. Chief Obafemi Awolowo the ikene philosopher said the difference between me and my other colleagues, was that when my other colleagues are cavorting in the dark alleys, I am in my library working myself 19 to the dozen.
You cannot succeed in life if you are not disciplined. You must be puritanical in your
predisposition, you must engage in an exercise of self purification and mortification, you must engage in an exercise of self abnegation, you must engage in an exercise of spiritual immolation. You must discipline the flesh. You must conquer the flesh. You must allow the spiritual aspect of you preponderate the material aspect, especially when you have been chosen to represent the people. So that at the end of the day, you can really say: vendi, vidi, vicki (veni vedi vici?)
B: what is the meaning of that?
Oba.: I came, I saw, I conquered.
B: Sir,just like I told you that you are vibrant contributor to debates on the floor of the house at times does it really bother you whether the people get to understand what you say because of those big big grammar.
Oba.: Well, let me say that I have been maniacally bewildered, in the words of Peter Pan, “overghasted and flabberwhelmed” when I am confronted by people as to what they stigmatize as my verbagogical gymnosophist gyrations. But let me use this opportunity to say that I have never set out…..I don’t deliberately set out to confuse my audience. Certain you want me to be dumb, when I talk, they just bomb in ceaseless sparkatum?. I bet you don’t give what you don’t have, what I have, I give.
B: So what is your parting word to Nigerians?
Oba.: My parting word to Nigerians is to be patient with the president of the country President, Umaru Musa Y’aradua. I appreciate that a lot of people at this time are becoming very critical in assessing the president because they believe that 8 months is enough to chart a visionary trajectory. I share those sentiments, but at the same time, let us not forget that the country was in a state of economical quagmire, political phantasmagoria and social stupor at the time the president came on board. So I appeal to Nigerians to be a little bit patient with him.
But at the same time, I want to appeal to Mr. President to see the victory in the cause as a wake up challenge, for him to leave the position of recupency into one of recusancy. 8 months, people should be able to say “this is the direction of Mr. President”. 8 months, people should be able to say “Mr. President’s stance for this”. There is a difference between amiability; there is a difference between decency and activism. The president must leave his position of political, and social and administrative lethargy and take the driver’s seat.
As Mr. President, he drives, and others follow. So whereas I appeal to Nigerians to be patient with him, I equally call on Mr. President to ascend the challenges of governance, and he cannot do that except he take the driver’s seat as the political dowager, the political emir of Sun Jordan, and the political major dobo, the buck stops at his table.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Fake Naija Babes/Love your Heritage
Wetin dey worry these fake Naija babes sef? I mean the situation is getting out of hand. I am just sorry for boys wey dey find wifee because, meeen, the thing no easy o. And some of the "Naija" babes are not helping matters. Naija is in quotation marks because the babes dem sef are not Naija anymore, or at least they don't want to be. Not that it is only Naija babes o, but it is more prevalent with them.
Case in point, not too long ago a mutual friend introduced me to this "Naija babe" in NY. I got the babes number from a mutual friend. My friend was saying call her, call her. I say hmmm. I begin sense some desperation o. I come begin inquire.
"How old is the babe"?
"Does it matter"?
Aaaaahh, warning sign number one! Because the friend sef old pass me small and this im friend go dey about the same age as her. And me myself I no be tata, but okay there is no harm in trying.
"Do you have her picture?"
"Yes on facebook, add her, her name is J"
"ok, no problem"
Long story short, I added the babe, checked her out. Okay looking babe, not too bad, but the weave-on was excessive! ah- ah! Only you wan wear all the horse-hair wey dey store? E be like dem don use at least five horse tails for that one weave man. But nothing spoil. I begin check more pics. I begin notice wrinkes wey dey try break out from under the make-up men. Omo e be like this babe don old small o. (I come begin remember say the friend was very sensitive about telling me her age.) The babe just get hard face small. You know those kind face wey no too hard but no too soft. You just can't figure out what to make of it - whether she dey smile at you or frown at you, you no know, but I was open man, because sometimes Kodak dey act up.
Okay so next step. Time to halla the babe o. Omo I halla this babe, come jam the British accent. She was more British than Queen Eliza! Ah-ah, na only you live for London? Mean-a-whiler, the babe friend wey connect me with am don yarn say the babe na im girl from school. I say ok cool, this must be a well raised home babe from the mother land, because I know say her friend grow up for Naija. Nna, the babe no gree o. She just dey blaskata the British accent dey go. I say ok, maybe she go calm down soon. You know sometimes when Naija people meet each other for Diaspora dem go form at first, then dem go come chill after everybody don know how far. Well it was the fisrt call, make I give the babe time.
Omo call # 2, she still dey keep up the front o. I say ok maybe this one go take a little bit longer. So I begin dig deeper, "Do you speak Ibo"?
"Nah, I don't speak it very well", with im "British accent", hmmm okay
"How long have you been in NY"?
"about a year"
"From the accent sounds like you lived in London, how long have you been in London"
"all ma life, I was born and raised there"
"Oh yeah"? meanwhile I was thinking, "this sounds fishy" so I continued to dig.
"Have you been to Nigeria"?
"Several times when I was a kid"
I come divert the convo because I get the bombshell wey I go soon drop wey go blow this whole farce out of the water. But I no wan make she suggee, so I come dribble around like Diego Maradona. We come yarn about other things o, for like ten minutes, and then I drop am:
"so how did you know Oma"?
"We went to school together"
Now we are getting somewhere, because I know say Oma, our mutual friend no ever live for London. She schooled and grew up in Naija then move come Yankee for college (university).
"which school"?
"FGGC Owerri"
Aaaaaaah, oloshi. E be like say you don forget say you grow up for London, All your life. I come say ok maybe dem born am for Jand, come carry am go Naija for a brief while, then come bring am back. So I continue to dig:
"So where did you go to elementary school"?
"In Owerri"
"Idiot!" For my mind o, I never wan spoil show yet.
So this babe go elementary school for Naija, go secondary school for Naija, come go Jand for University like everybody else, na im e come dey front say e be British, wey don live and grow for London all im life? With im fake okirika accent. Wetin dey worry these girls, seriously? Am I supposed to be impressed say you be British? Or wetin sef? I be British citizen and I no even get that kind accent, nor do I care or have the time to fake it. I no even dey tell people say I be British. But this babe wey never reach 10 years for Jand don become British, and e don translate to "All my life".
Anuofia! Nonsense and Ingredients!
Omo, na so I wrap up the conversation quick quick dismiss the babe jooo. There is nothing I can't stand like fakeness and pretentiousness. What is really wrong with these babes? Once dey get to Murtala Muhammed Airport they are no longer Nigerian. Quick to change their name, accent, if possible some of them will even change their colour. Shameless!
People without an Identity. We are quick to lose our identity when we leave our homeland because we want to blend into a foreign culture, and seen as something other than African. Meanwhile in that culture that you are working so hard to impress you are still foreign no matter how much you try to change your accent, culture, or looks. So you don't belong to Nigeria, and you don't belong to wherever you have chosen to adopt. You are now homeless citizen of the world. It's really sad. Take a look at Asians, Hispanics, and others who are proud of their cultures. The first language their kids learn is their native language, regardless of where they are born, and then English is eventually introduced once they are comfortable with their native tongue. Sometimes both languages are learned simultaneously.Then there is the culture, which is instilled in them. They study their history, and they grow up proud of who they are as a people. They showcase their identity and exceptionalism. They celebrate their heritage. Not so with some Naija people. We always wan prove say we don travel or say we no sabi anything about Naija, language, or culture (as if that's a good thing!) All because we want to appear polished and Westernized. Some may say it's because of the negative image that is perpetrated by the Western media about Africa and Africans. That's exactly the more reason why you should be vocal about your culture and identity and endeavour to educate everyone you come across about your beautiful culture, not shy away from it. Language is the primary identity of a group or culture. Unless you are content being a cultureless, shallow individual with no heritage your language is key to the survival of your identity.
Granted everything about Africa or Naija is not that great, but so what? Who is perfect? I can name a lot of not-so-great things about Yankee. So what? And what we don't know is that the people we try to impress with our fakeness can see through the B.S. and they will even have less respect for you and your culture because you don't have any respect for it yourself. So my people WISE UP and celebrate yourselves and your own before your African culture and Africans vanishes completely. The Holy Bible says "My people perish for lack of knowledge." Charity begins at home y'all, and I'm out.
I go see una next time, which God willing will be very soon. Don't be ashamed of who you are, be yourself and be proud of it. Take care out there and represent! One.
Case in point, not too long ago a mutual friend introduced me to this "Naija babe" in NY. I got the babes number from a mutual friend. My friend was saying call her, call her. I say hmmm. I begin sense some desperation o. I come begin inquire.
"How old is the babe"?
"Does it matter"?
Aaaaahh, warning sign number one! Because the friend sef old pass me small and this im friend go dey about the same age as her. And me myself I no be tata, but okay there is no harm in trying.
"Do you have her picture?"
"Yes on facebook, add her, her name is J"
"ok, no problem"
Long story short, I added the babe, checked her out. Okay looking babe, not too bad, but the weave-on was excessive! ah- ah! Only you wan wear all the horse-hair wey dey store? E be like dem don use at least five horse tails for that one weave man. But nothing spoil. I begin check more pics. I begin notice wrinkes wey dey try break out from under the make-up men. Omo e be like this babe don old small o. (I come begin remember say the friend was very sensitive about telling me her age.) The babe just get hard face small. You know those kind face wey no too hard but no too soft. You just can't figure out what to make of it - whether she dey smile at you or frown at you, you no know, but I was open man, because sometimes Kodak dey act up.
Okay so next step. Time to halla the babe o. Omo I halla this babe, come jam the British accent. She was more British than Queen Eliza! Ah-ah, na only you live for London? Mean-a-whiler, the babe friend wey connect me with am don yarn say the babe na im girl from school. I say ok cool, this must be a well raised home babe from the mother land, because I know say her friend grow up for Naija. Nna, the babe no gree o. She just dey blaskata the British accent dey go. I say ok, maybe she go calm down soon. You know sometimes when Naija people meet each other for Diaspora dem go form at first, then dem go come chill after everybody don know how far. Well it was the fisrt call, make I give the babe time.
Omo call # 2, she still dey keep up the front o. I say ok maybe this one go take a little bit longer. So I begin dig deeper, "Do you speak Ibo"?
"Nah, I don't speak it very well", with im "British accent", hmmm okay
"How long have you been in NY"?
"about a year"
"From the accent sounds like you lived in London, how long have you been in London"
"all ma life, I was born and raised there"
"Oh yeah"? meanwhile I was thinking, "this sounds fishy" so I continued to dig.
"Have you been to Nigeria"?
"Several times when I was a kid"
I come divert the convo because I get the bombshell wey I go soon drop wey go blow this whole farce out of the water. But I no wan make she suggee, so I come dribble around like Diego Maradona. We come yarn about other things o, for like ten minutes, and then I drop am:
"so how did you know Oma"?
"We went to school together"
Now we are getting somewhere, because I know say Oma, our mutual friend no ever live for London. She schooled and grew up in Naija then move come Yankee for college (university).
"which school"?
"FGGC Owerri"
Aaaaaaah, oloshi. E be like say you don forget say you grow up for London, All your life. I come say ok maybe dem born am for Jand, come carry am go Naija for a brief while, then come bring am back. So I continue to dig:
"So where did you go to elementary school"?
"In Owerri"
"Idiot!" For my mind o, I never wan spoil show yet.
So this babe go elementary school for Naija, go secondary school for Naija, come go Jand for University like everybody else, na im e come dey front say e be British, wey don live and grow for London all im life? With im fake okirika accent. Wetin dey worry these girls, seriously? Am I supposed to be impressed say you be British? Or wetin sef? I be British citizen and I no even get that kind accent, nor do I care or have the time to fake it. I no even dey tell people say I be British. But this babe wey never reach 10 years for Jand don become British, and e don translate to "All my life".
Anuofia! Nonsense and Ingredients!
Omo, na so I wrap up the conversation quick quick dismiss the babe jooo. There is nothing I can't stand like fakeness and pretentiousness. What is really wrong with these babes? Once dey get to Murtala Muhammed Airport they are no longer Nigerian. Quick to change their name, accent, if possible some of them will even change their colour. Shameless!
People without an Identity. We are quick to lose our identity when we leave our homeland because we want to blend into a foreign culture, and seen as something other than African. Meanwhile in that culture that you are working so hard to impress you are still foreign no matter how much you try to change your accent, culture, or looks. So you don't belong to Nigeria, and you don't belong to wherever you have chosen to adopt. You are now homeless citizen of the world. It's really sad. Take a look at Asians, Hispanics, and others who are proud of their cultures. The first language their kids learn is their native language, regardless of where they are born, and then English is eventually introduced once they are comfortable with their native tongue. Sometimes both languages are learned simultaneously.Then there is the culture, which is instilled in them. They study their history, and they grow up proud of who they are as a people. They showcase their identity and exceptionalism. They celebrate their heritage. Not so with some Naija people. We always wan prove say we don travel or say we no sabi anything about Naija, language, or culture (as if that's a good thing!) All because we want to appear polished and Westernized. Some may say it's because of the negative image that is perpetrated by the Western media about Africa and Africans. That's exactly the more reason why you should be vocal about your culture and identity and endeavour to educate everyone you come across about your beautiful culture, not shy away from it. Language is the primary identity of a group or culture. Unless you are content being a cultureless, shallow individual with no heritage your language is key to the survival of your identity.
Granted everything about Africa or Naija is not that great, but so what? Who is perfect? I can name a lot of not-so-great things about Yankee. So what? And what we don't know is that the people we try to impress with our fakeness can see through the B.S. and they will even have less respect for you and your culture because you don't have any respect for it yourself. So my people WISE UP and celebrate yourselves and your own before your African culture and Africans vanishes completely. The Holy Bible says "My people perish for lack of knowledge." Charity begins at home y'all, and I'm out.
I go see una next time, which God willing will be very soon. Don't be ashamed of who you are, be yourself and be proud of it. Take care out there and represent! One.
Introduction
My people I don show o. I know I am late to this blogging thing but better late than never. How una dey sef? Well I know say una don miss me well well, even though say una no even know who I be, but anyway I forge on.
As I said, this is my virgin blog, so go easy on me. My theme here will be pointing out all the peculiar events/occurrences/annoyances/irritabilities/eccentricities as I see them. I am a world watcher, so I tend to pay a little bit more attention to events around me than the average person. So you will be reading a lot of things that you've witnessed but probably never even gave a second thought to. And at other times it will be general issues that we discuss from day to day.
Anyhow, since this is my maiden flight I will make it brief. As I said, I won't be keeping you much longer. I will be back soon with my first initial Obiservation (not a typo - if you are smart you will know why). So all posts will be referred to as Obiservations. I don trademark am o. Make una no even try!!! Wallahi, I go sue your papa! Because I know say you no hold. LOL.
Compadres, I forge on everly. Await the next Obiservation!
As I said, this is my virgin blog, so go easy on me. My theme here will be pointing out all the peculiar events/occurrences/annoyances/irritabilities/eccentricities as I see them. I am a world watcher, so I tend to pay a little bit more attention to events around me than the average person. So you will be reading a lot of things that you've witnessed but probably never even gave a second thought to. And at other times it will be general issues that we discuss from day to day.
Anyhow, since this is my maiden flight I will make it brief. As I said, I won't be keeping you much longer. I will be back soon with my first initial Obiservation (not a typo - if you are smart you will know why). So all posts will be referred to as Obiservations. I don trademark am o. Make una no even try!!! Wallahi, I go sue your papa! Because I know say you no hold. LOL.
Compadres, I forge on everly. Await the next Obiservation!
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