Happy New Year - Prayer for Nigeria

Happy New Year my people, how una dey? I don come again.
We hope this New Year brings you peace, love, joy and prosperity to all of you in Jesus name! Amen. You see, we Nigerians love to pray, especially for Nigeria. We love to pray for Nigeria! We Prophesy! We speak in tongues! But it seems nothing changes.
Oh Lord blaaaaaaaaaaaaawwaaaaaaaawawawawawawa!
Intervene, Intervene, Intervene!
Bo, bo, bo! ho, ho, ho! bra, bra, bra!
Could it be that God is deaf?
Or is he just ignoring us?
Or are our prayers not getting to him?
After all we are very holy people who have a direct line to God
Even the ‘unbeliever’ countries are doing very well
How come we the ‘holy’ ones are in peril?
So, here's a little prayer I wrote for Nigeria, featuring God, enjoy.

(Prayer)

Lord as we begin 2010
we pray that you guide us with your infinite wisdom
to do that which is right for one and for all
we cast and bind all demonic suicide bombing spirits!
any ‘Mutallabic’ spirits we overcome you with the blood of Jesus!
we reject all extremist tendencies!
none of your evil workings will come near us!
this year will be a positive year for Nigeria
we pray that 2010 will herald us into a new era
an era of accountability, productivity, and electricity
we rebuke all political mediocrity and eccentricities
we reject all negativity and welcome only positivity
we claim running water, power, and drivable roads
we reject bore-holes, generators, and pot-holes
we promise to cut down on excessive wayo and shayo,
and focus on solving our problems with fervor and vigor
we will curtail our suyaing, bigstouting, and peppersouping,
instead we will start fasting, praying and all night tarrying
we will sacrifice more of ourselves for the good of our brethren
we promise to apply ourselves to development of our fatherland
in pursuit of ego, owo, kudi, we have blinded ourselves to the blight of our home land
we travel the world, see and enjoy the hard work of others
return home and continue the incessant and unrepentant pillaging of ours
oh Lord why oh why
Some say its the Curse of Ham but I say it must not be
Everyday we sing praises, prayers, speak in holy tongues and it seems to no avail
for we remain viciously locked in the same fate and travails
In-fact Lord I believe we are the 'holiest' people on the planet
in which other country do you have so much faith in the face of utter abjectness
As if blind, deaf, and dumb we continue praying and hoping
but I can't help but think that you are up there laughing and saying:

(God)

My children perish for lack of knowledge
I have given you all that you need to be prosperous and fruitful
If you do not make use of the gifts that I have blessed you with
that which you have shall be taken away and given to the lesser amongst you.
You have been blessed with natural resources beyond your needs.
You have cocoa, rubber, timber, tin, natural gas, petroleum, arable land and more.
And I have given you the brains to harness all that I have provided you for your benefit,
but you seem bent on self-destruction.
Rather than develop, you destroy - resources, land, water, and each other
and you turn around to me and ask for my help and intervention
I have already helped you
Its time for you to help yourself
Have you not heard that I only help those who help themselves?

AMEN